and theres reason to believe…

…that maybe this year will be better than the last.

And just like that, the glow from the Christmas lights that adorn my windows and staircase are making me feel so cozy. The sprint through Thanksgiving and into holiday cheer was almost as fast as my race pace at this year’s Turkey Trot. I had the pleasure of hosting Sir Winston Churchill Warrior for the holiday weekend and now that he’s gone and the house is clean, it’s so quiet and I miss his footsteps on the hardwood floors.┬áMy (not so) secret santa gave me an Advent calendar, which of course started today. Day one was a success; just looking at it makes me smile.

There’s a lot about the next month that I’m not looking forward to – a lot of decisions to be made – a lot of selfish people distracting from what I need to think about and do for me and my future. I honestly have no idea how this is going to play out – not a clue; for once I can’t see the future. I’m really just hoping for someone to take my hand and let me know (with confidence in their voice and in their grip) that I’ll survive my 20’s. This leap of faith is going to be a hard one to take – especially because I’ve seen those leaps end in disaster for the man that I share half of my dna with.

The only thing I really know how to do at a crossroads is cook – it’s calming and makes me feel like I have some sort of control over something in the universe and allows me to focus my attention on other matters for the rest of the week. So, this morning I went to the market and this afternoon I cancelled the meeting that I never should’ve made, and I cooked.

So this week we have breakfast oatmeal muffins and chipotle sweet potato tacos and some of the vegan tortilla soup that I froze from two weeks ago. This weekend I’ll make my very favorite dark chocolate peppermint bark and depending on how low the temperatures get this week, I might restart my hot chocolate addiction.

So very thankful for the week full of friends and wine and a snuggly pup. But the blessed unrest continues, and for now I’m doing my best to keep perspective.

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